I'm not very good at daily rituals, except maybe sleep (i'm very good at that). So the thought of doing 'Morning Pages' as part of the twelve-week course from The Artist's Way seemed like a good enough reason not to undergo said twelve-week course. Did I mention I'm not very good at self-directed courses? But... in an act of artistic and creative desperation I picked up The Artist's Way last week, again. I first bought this book four years ago thrift shopping out in British Columbia (a time honoured tradition of days off from Treeplanting). I have attempted to pick it up and undergo the course, but have always put it down. It asks a lot, but then, I think it offers a lot. So, here I am attempting to undergo the daily task of 'Morning Pages', among other weekly rituals the book asks of you. It's surprisingly easy to do... once I bully myself into doing it ("no breakfast until you get those morning pages done"). The task consists of writing three pages of whatever, and I mean whatever, comes into your head and out onto paper. It's kind of like a filtration process of the mind and soul; letting it all pour out onto the pages. After three pages you close the book and do not read over anything. Next morning, repeat. Simple, yes? Not so much. Worth it, YES!
Me & Journaling: An On Again/Off Again Relationship
I have been journaling since I was fourteen. Or, to be more specific, I have been doing art journals since I was at least fourteen. Before then I used to think that journaling meant only writing and that didn't work with me so I started journaling with pictures, doodles, and some words. I actually thought I invented art journaling. I didn't. This type of personal expression got me through my teenage years and well into my twenties. Most of my journals are unfinished and scattered in terms of dates, but nonetheless they piece together to tell the story of my life (at least from fourteen onwards). A few years ago I stopped journaling. I went to university and got more and more in tune with my left brain and my journals began to collect dust. I also did A LOT of moving around, which somehow made it more challenging.
My creative life in general has suffered in the last few years and I chalk up a lot of my struggles I face currently with being out of touch with that part of myself. Being able to decorate and do the windows and all the displays at my shop has started to to fuel my creative energies once again and I had sooo much fun back in the spring making signs and designing things. But... I'm still not going into the studio at home. Or, if I am, it is usually to re-organize (the constant scapegoat: I'll just re-organize a bit, then I'll create) or make something for someone else, which is a great thing that i LOVE doing, I just haven't been doing any art for the sake of making art. This is a problem.
I finally made it into the studio last week and I laid everything on the floor, including all my journals, pastels, markers, glue, etc., etc., And I was stuck. Every time i tried to just 'play' I would get overcome with thoughts of: "What's the point?", " Can you sell this?", "This isn't unique"
So I laid myself at the feet of The Artist's Way to find my way back to art for the sake of art; art as an exploration and expression of myself. We'll see.
For creative people (which I happen to think is everyone, just in different ways), being connected with your art, no matter what it is, is like having a direct line to your life's purpose. You don't even have to consciously think it, it's visceral.
I'll keep you updated on the process of my recovery and discovery. In the meantime, have any suggestions, stories, tips you want to share? Do you journal? I LOVE hearing about this stuff!!!!
Be loving
p.s... if you have/are currently, or wish to participate in the The Artist's Way Course, let me know; i'd love to share notes, stories, etc. Struggle felt communally lessens the struggle :)
